Midnight ramblings

So I haven't posted here since september. before I even came to college. But I am going to avoid all the catch up what-has-been-going-on-in-my-life-and-how-much-fun-I've-been-having talk because its now after 2 in the morning and I've had a terrible day and now I'm depressed and need some where to vent.
So just ignore this post. its mainly just for me to look back in n a few months and remind myself how I was feeling.



I'm siting here listening to 'Tenuousness' by Andrew Bird after watching Crazy Stupid Love (good movie by the way, very funny, and enjoyable, even though I normally dislike happy-ending love stories(because I'm a cynical realist)) instead of getting ready for my finals week...

and I'm just sitting here depressed and thinking about my life and the choices I've made/will make, for not even the first time today. And I thought it would be better here. I've had so much fun the last few months here at college, keeping myself busy and surround myself with funny and like able people. But today man. today. I just can't stop thinking about how much I don't know where I want my life to go. Don't get me wrong, I love being film major and I have no intention of changing that anytime soon. but, I mean, I've been so depressed the last few years. I didn't even realize that I stopped smiling all the time. a few people have remarked how I don't seem as happy as I used to be, and people who haven't known me very long probably just assume this is is how I normally am. which I guess is true now. but at least I am happy, most days. I am content, most days. Because most days I can suck it up, and be OK. I the fucking queen of being OK. most days.

but not today. I was hoping the high from college and new surroundings and new people would last longer. But here I am the end of my first quarter and already depressed and angsty. uncontent with my life and how I spend my time. Uncontent with who I am.

my English class this year has been very big into debates and beliefs and talking about different ethical systems. At first class I liked it but then I began to not. mainly because of who I am. I don't like talking about what I believe. I like to remain neutral, keep my heart as far way from my sleeve as possible. but unfortunately after 4 months of this class and being forces into thinking about it, the part of my brain has woken back up after I spent the last 2 years trying to shut it up so I could get through days without being depressed. Because thinking makes me pretty god-damn depressed.

but non of that is what I was planning on talking about. oops.

what I had been thinking about was how i'd been thinking about my life and how I can't help but feel its going nowhere. while going somewhere.

Thoughts: lack of decision making is in itself a decision right?

because I am hate making decisions and am terrible at it. Which means my life tense to progress by what is easiest, by what happens when you wait to long to make up your mind.

basically, I'm sad because I feel like I am where I am because of my lack of ability to make to decisions and my lack of drive to do anything about it.

I've been waiting for over two years for some magical spark. adventure or SOMETHING. something to change who I am and give me the drive to do something. give me inspiration. give me courage to stand up for what I believe in. or even the courage to think about and find out what I believe.

but I am being to worry that it will never come. And if there is no magical spark or awakening change then the change must come from inside me.

and if that's the case. then I'm fucked. because I am just a robot with a dead battery.

Midnight sugar rush and Pottermore

Whats this? Blogging two days in a row? What is this madness?

Basically, my little sister left a bag of candy in my room today, and I just finished editing a vlog for the youtubes, and its almost one o'clock in the morning. SO IMMA BLOG NAO.

Today I went with my parents to some swanky shindig dinner to honor people who donate blood, because both me and my dad donate blood. (My mom can't but they let us bring guests) It was out at a winery/ranch that is really pretty. It was nice. But I was kinda bored because almost everyone there was old. But I got free food so WIN.

Hey look its a pottermore survey thing I found on the interwebs I think Imma do it.

1. What's your Pottermore username? StarAccio73

2.What House do you think it sounds like? I don't know, Ravenclaw probably ;)

3. What House do you want to be in? I'm already in and sorted. RAVENCLAW PRIDE Y'ALL. I"m so Ravenclawesome

hehe see what i did there

4. Does your username relate to you at all? It does. I feel pretty lucky to have been given a username I like. Accio is my favourite spell and I love stars. I used to star gaze all the time as a kid and I own lotsa star-charts. I'm pretty sure if I was at Hogwarts my highest grade would be astronomy

5. What kind of wand would you wish to get? As above, since I'm already in I have mine. Its Elm with Unicorn hair, 10 and 3/4 inches, hard.

6. Which day did you get into Pottermore? Day 1 YO!

7. What shape is your Patronus? A giraffe. or a narwale. but probably a giraffe.

8. What does your boggart look like? I don't know man. I'd actually really like to meat a boggart (yes I know they're not real but I can imagine) because I want to know what shape it would take. I don't really have a greatest fear. I've jokingly said the sorting hat not putting me in Ravenclaw. yea, Imma go with that.

9. Would you rather be an Animagus or a Matamorphmagus? thats a tough one, but I"ll go with Matamorphmagus. Tonks yo. also then I could change my hair every day.

10. If you were an Animagus, what animal would you be? I actually really don't know. Probably a dog or a cat. Or maybe sometime of bird so I could fly. yea a bird. flying is awesome.



Alright, I'm gonna go back to tumblr and my book.

night y'all

YO WATSUP

hows it going? I guess I haven't written a blog post since July 13. Since then so much has happened(and also so little) but I don't like writing about any of that. Who knows maybe I'll change my mind. but probably not. I've thought about stories that I would turn into post a lot, but I have never got around to them or just got to tired or apathetic when it came to actually writing. So I've decided to just skip the last two and a half months and just jump to NOW.

WARNING this blog is probably gonna be all over the place because its about 1 in the morning and I am very hyper. Have I mentioned my sleep schedule is completely whacked/nonexistent? Because it is.

So basically I'm finally getting around to blogging again because 1. I just decided I wanted to film a video, and then realized it was after midnight, and therefore not a good time to be talking to a camera. and 2. because I was told off earlier in the week for not blogging recently, which reminded me that some people actually do read this.

So I'm moving to college in a week. That's exciting. I've been busy packing and my room is all in disarray and I've taken my posters and pictures off the walls so there very bare and weird. I'm really excited and nervous but mostly excited. SEVEN DAYS YO.

STORY TIME! So today I went with my folks to Costco to buy food to take with me for my dorm so I don't always have to eat caf food. After we'd bought lots of ramen and some Nutella and some goldfish ect. we stopped by the food court to get some dinner. As we where sitting there eating at a table by the food court line two guys in UC Berkeley t shirts who had also been buying ramen got in line and bought food. After they left my mother informed me that they'd been checking me out. I hadn't noticed, as I only had eyes for my pizza...

It was delicious pizza.

Gosh I love pizza

and people wonder why I'm single.

I like to think of my self in a relation ship with Tumblr... and pizza.

ANYWAYS

STORY TIME PART DOS

Last Friday I started reading Leviathan by Scott Westerfeld, which I had heard lots of goof thing about but never actually read. OHMYGOODNESS THAT BOOK IS AMAZING. I finished it by Sunday and then yesterday I bought the Behemoth the second book in the trilogy, and it was amazing as well. I've already finished it... and I started it yesterday. Its got about 500 pages. that might be a new record. but I'm not sure. anyways back to the story. I finished it a little while ago and immediately went GIVEMEBOOKTHREERIGHTNOW I NEED IT! But I was pretty sure it wasn't out yet. So I went to the internet to find its release date. GUESS WHEN IT COMES OUT GUESS WHEN IT COMES OUT! Ok I'll tell you then. It comes out the 20th of September. That's next Tuesday. SEVEN DAYS BABY! Actually less than seven now. Its also the day before I leave for college-land. I WILL BE GETTING THAT BOOK ON RELEASE DAY.

I think I've just run out of things that I wanted to talk about. But I want to keep writing. Because now its after 1 in the morning. and I'm happy. I normally get all moody and angsty at night which is why I don't blog. But I'm in a good mood.

ooh I think I've become way to attached to tumblr. Because whenever I go to post something on facebook I always get really annoyed that I cant use gifs to express my feelings.HOW CAN I PROPERLY EXPRESS HOW I FEEL WITHOUT GIFS?!!

So I recently heard that CBS is planning on haveing a new TV show that is a modernization of Sherlock Holmes, because of the popularity of the RDJ movie(s).

WHAT. NO. WHY. WHY CBS? DO YOU NOT WATCH BBC? Oh wait that right of course you do, because that's how American tv networks get ideas for shows. They just remake brilliant British ones.
CBS I am warning you. DO not do this. It will flop. please. do not be stupid. Do not ruin the Sherlock Holmes fandom.

Also, you do realize that the the British show Sherlock is written my STEVEN MOFFET AND MARK GAITISS? no matter who you get as writers, they will not even compare.

And no matter who you get as actors, NO MATTER WHO YOU GET. No one, I repeat NO ONE be anywhere as good as Benedict Cumberbatch. He is Sherlock Holmes. YOU CANNOT BEAT HIM. And hes got Martin Freeman as John Watson. MARTIN FREEMAN. you know, Bilbo Baggins? Arthur Dent? John Watson? The two of them are phenomenal together.



okok rant over. *gets bowl of popcorn and goes to watch as the Sherlock fandom begins to tare apart CBS. You don't messes with the Sherlock fandom and Ben-addict Cumberbitches. It will not end pretty. Just be honest.



Man. Now I really want to go rewatch season one of Sherlock. that show is SO GREAT man. SO GREAT.

ooooh talking about Marin Freeman reminded me about the Hobbit. that movie is going to be amazing. I can't wait for it to come out. The little vlog-production videos that Peter Jackson have been doing are amazing and hilarious and awesome and I WANT THIS MOVIE HERE SO BAD. O.O


uh wow. that post was a lot longer than I expected it to be. I guess I should blog more huh?

College in a week kdsjhflkjdsfhlgkjds

Summer

So bloggity, whats up. how longs its been since I wrote here? Oh right a long time. oops. But Its summer! I've graduated, driven across the country to Michigan spent a few amazing days in Chicago, and flew back. Then continued to waste all my time by sitting on tumblr.

And also crying my eyes out while listening to wrock awaiting the Deathly Hallows part 2 midnight showing. Which is one day away. I keep singing 'Accio Deathly Hallows' by Hank Green, because I want that movie already.

I really wish I was in Orlando Florida at LeakyCon right now. REAAAALLLy bad.

I cant wait till tomorrow morning. I want to dance. AHHHrfdfdsfrytoutydtg

I'm currently listening to the soundtrack to A Very Potter Musical. I love teamstarkid so much.

Summer and Friends

So its summer now. has been for a few weeks. and some people may think I'm crazy for this but, I don't like summer. NOW WAIT. Before you get all "your crazy" on me. Let me tell you why. During the school year I am forced to do things. Which I hate yes, and I can't wait for summer to get here so I can do what I want. Here is the problem. There are many things I want to do, but since school got out, I've done practically nothing but sit in my room on the internet. Seriously, This is the first summer in the last 4 years that I haven't had a job and things to be at early every day. Also, being as I'm graduated now, I don't have sports conditioning to force me out of bed to go run. So I've been sitting unmotivated in my room, wasting away. Today, when I actually forced myself out of bed at 12:30 to go for a run, I only lasted like 4-5 minutes of running and I was back home in 20. Man, a year ago I would have run or over 20 minuets straight. And I don't like not doing anything productive, but I can't seam to stop. I haven't made a video in forever, and I can't get my self to even turn on my camera. and Writing? Soo not happening. I just can't think of anything to write down. WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME? I haven't even read much lately. Whats up with that.

So as you can tell, I've been feeling very, bleh. In a few months I'm leaving for college, and So i'm stuck in a I-should-start-packing-or-cleaning-but-I-don't-want-to-start-just-yet-so-I'll-do-it-tomorrow kinda mood. I hate it I wish it was September already. I'm sick of all the people who I know who live near me. I'm ready for the next part of my life, but I'm stuck here, I know I should be using this time to help myself, but I just can't. I want to meet some knew people who actually to do things I like to do. I have a few people who I actually like, but I'm kinda just sick of everyone else right now. uggh.

And then like 3 hours ago I ended up being on facebook talking to three amazing friends of mine. 2 hours later we had almost 400 comments on a link I posted monday. So it should be said, I love my friends, I wish they where nearby so I could be all

man, why do people live so faaaaarrr.


Ok, I'm done for today. I'm gonna go force myself to sleep so I can wake up early, and GET THINGS DONE TOMORROW.

April the twenty fifth!

So I have about fifteen minuets to get this posted. LETS DO THIS. So basically long story short I didn't do much of anything today, well, except buy PORTAL 2! WHOOOO. I'm not much of a gamer, but portal equals less than three. I held off a week after it was released until I bought it, but I caved today. SO EXCITE. But I am exercising restraint until I get a through some school work and projects until I play.

Ahh, I keep getting distracted by Neil Gaiman and Ben Folds ect playing on live on youtube and partyontheinternet.com

great, I'm almost out of time. and I need to get some sleep so I can find excuses to play Portal 2 tomorrow.

So short post. sorry.

April the twenty fourth!

Happy Easter!

Today has been an exciting day, but its now almost done so I have to type fast. AHH.
I spend the better part of the day at a softball tournament down at a school about an hour away. My school didn't have enough girls sign up for softball this year, so we had a guys team and a co-ed team. It was brilliantly fun. AND I hit a home run. thats right a home run. Beautifully placed between the left and center fielders, and the had to turn around and run for it. Sooo awesome. I love softball. Its the sport that I have been playing the longest. The mitt I use I have had since I was in fourth grade. It only goes about two or three inches farther than my fingers, but I still use it every spring and summer. My freshman year I got a new mitt that was bigger, but I didn't like it much, and I ended up going back to my small one. It just feels right.

Alright, its late and I'm tired. Until tomorrow!

April the Twenty Eighth!

HEY!, Look at that! I'm actually blogging when its light out. I wonder what could have brought that about. #DOCTORWHODOCTOWWHODOCTORWHO

So Doctor who is on later tonight. In case you haven't heard.* And In about half an hour I'm heading over to a friends house to watch the series premiere. So today, I made some Dalek shaped rice crispy treats. They look awesome. My mom came in while I was making them and said 'Oh, those are cute!' "MOM!" I cried, "Their supposed to be TERRIFYING!" Sob. *Sigh* some people just don't understand.

So the word on the street is that when this episode gets over, I will be yelling "MOFFAAAAAT!" And by street I mean Internet, and by internet I mean twitter and tumbler.

Also, I've decided that if I had a time machine, I would go into the future and get the box set of season 6, so I could just watch it now with out having to wait.


Quote of the day: "Doctor: 'Lets get going, big day tommorrow!' Amy: 'what?' Doctor: 'its always a big day tomorrow, I skip the unimportant ones"

*You must be new here, HI! I'm Grace! Im obsessed with Doctor Who

April the twenty first!

So last night a had a dream. In which we were putting on a play, and I was a main character, and my little sister was another main character. I actually think we were the only ones in the play for some reason. And the other people were my friends all from another school. BUT heres the catch! I had never heard of the play before, and new nothing about it. But it was opening day.
Now this might be where you begin going, 'Oh so this was a nightmare!'

Wrong. This was no nightmare.
you know why? Because I am awesome. I'd never read the script, so I took the script of one of my friends, and I memorized lines back stage in between scenes. And I mean I memorized lines LIKE A BAWS. Because, as stated previously, I am awesome. Imagine my disappointment when I woke up and realized it was a dream. My Dreams = CRUSHED. No pun intended. hehe.

So in the last two days I have posted two videos. I feel so productive. BoYah.

Doctor who is on in two days! My excitement cannot be contained. NEED WHO NOW.

So I just looked at my clock and realized I need to post this. NOW. Or I'll be late. Till tomorrow folks!

last song played: Caroline by Mike Lombardo

Quote: 'Don't live life like theres no tomorrow, thats stupid! Live life like its a story you'd like to tell someone else. A little fun, A little exciting, A little sexy, and ALWAYS off key" - Philip DeFranco

April the twentieth

So its been awhile. Just about a week I believe. But I have a good excuse. I was in Hawaii. With out internet. It was very relaxing and a break was needed! It was great to get away from the stress and just sit on the beach and read. Did I mention it was beautiful? and WARM. and now I'm all rested up and energized for the projects I will actually have time to work on now. SENIOR YEAR IS AWESOME. The last two days bak at school have been fantastic. Would it be to pretentious to hope for 3 days with out homework?
And HEY! guess what? what, no guesses? Fine all tell you! I made a video today. Its uploading! WHOOOOO!

OHMYGOOODDDNNESSSS PEOPLE! Doctor Who Is on in THREEEE DAAAAYYSSS! SOO EXCITED. I mean um. *cough* Doctor Who is on in three days guys.

I've been singing Still Alive all day. i need portal two. blergh. I HAVE SO MUCH ENERGY RIGHT NOW. I would jump around if I didn't think it would make the other people in my house annoyed.

I think I'm gonna go watch more Doctor Who.

last song played: Still Alive
Quote of the day:'What are you doing? I....I.... We are please that you made it through the final challenge where we pretended to murder you, We are very, very happy for your success. We are throwing a party in honor of your tremendous success" GladOs Portal

April the thirteenth

So, I didn't blog yesterday. Fail. BUT YESTERDAY IS BEHIND ME. My streak of bad days seams to have ended (hopefully) and I am done with school until next Tuesday. Also, I have to wake up in 4 hours, to head to the airport to catch my flight. HAWAII tomorrow baby! WHOO. Senior trip is gonna rock. I can't wait to hit the beach.

So you wanna hear a funny story? It was getting time to redye my hair, and I was at the store yesterday, but they didn't have the box I usually use, so i got a different one that looked about the same. Well know, instead of my normal light auburn/red color, mu hair is RED. and I mean RED. When I first go out of the shower it looked kinda pinkish almost, but now looking down at it I look like a Weasley. We will see how this goes tomorrow. I'm brining a hat just in case.

OH MY GOODNESS I LEAVE IN FOUR HOURS I NEED SLEEP! *passes out*

April the Eleventh!

All be honest, I really wasn't going to blog today. I was worried about how it would go down seeing as all I want to do right know is yell and cuss at some people. But, here I am at 11:30 at night, and I'm not gonna miss a day. I set out to do BEDA because is something I want to do. And nobody, no how much of a jerk they are, or how mad they make me is gonna take that away.
That being said, I don't really have much to say because all I can think of is not what I want to write. But My nails are bright orange. And the GLOW IN THE DARK. Which I think is just like the best ting ever. Two more days to get through until I get to go to Hawaii for the first time in my life. WHOOOOO.

Anyway, to make up for my bad mood and bad day, I've decided to give you this. Enjoy. 12 more days. WHOOOOOO

I'm gonna go watch this and wish I was that bad-ass and calm when I was angry.

Also. I really wished I lived in New York. I would give so much to have been there today.

April the tenth!

SUUUUNNSHIINE!! You know, I love living in California. Which is weird saying because I've spend the better part of the last 2 years trying to find a way to move out of California. But seriously, I really need some sunshine, and I got some. granted, in about a week I'll want the rain and the clouds back, but hey, today was beautiful. After spending so much of the last month or to being ill and stuck indoors, it was great to actually go out into the sunshine. My day started off with a nice run with my dog around my neighborhood. I really enjoy running, and I haven't really done much of any exercise since basketball season ended. So getting out and running with my dog in the warm sunshine felt just amazing. Also, nothing makes you day better then having "Lets Get down to Business" from Mulan come up on your ipods shuffle when you are running. Seriously.

So much has happened today that I can't even remember what all I was going to talk about. Aside from the tons of homework I've been doing (and need to get back to) I had some time to play my guitar, go to softball practice and um, what else did I do today? BRAIN OVERLOAD. Must go back to studying.
Until tomorrow my friends.

April the Ninth!

IIIIIITSS another beautiful sunny day here in California! that I have spent inside. In my room. *sigh* Whats the point of this beautiful weather if I am stuck inside the whole time? Oh well I with be out in it tomorrow.

I am going to tell you all a secret! Well, more of a confession, one I would never tell to people irl, because the wouldn't understand. but, um, Ikindalovemylittlepony. DON'T laugh! I keep hearing people talk about and say how much they love it, (full grown adults mostly, mind you) and a friend of mine has been after me most of this week to watch it. So. This happened. This is one doggone good kids show. As my friend Starr says, Its like Buffy, but with Unicorns! But seriously, half of me is going, why am I watching this? and the other half is going, THIS IS SO AWESOME. And that is why I will be spending my Saturday night watching My Little Pony, the Magic of Friendship.

OOO look! ScottandTom have a new song!

I spent a good deal of time last night while laying in bed ill, rewatching and finging new doctor who videos on youtube. Clips and interviews, and funny little thing people have made. It made me very nostalgic and sad. I love eleven, but I miss ten soo much. 10 will forever be my Doctor. David Tennant is such a brilliant actor. No wonder I love him so much.

Yikes, this post is filled with nerd love and geekery fangirling. I need to stop this before it gets worse. Which it would.

April the eighth!

BBLERRRGG. So guess what? I'm ill again. GERRR. I really need to stop getting sick. ITS DOWNRIGHT ANNOYING. I've spent pretty much the entire time since I got home from school in bed. But you know what else I got reminded of today? I love Pandora Radio. I discovered it over Christmas break and spent a good deal of time listening to it, but got busy and kinda forgot about it. So a lot of today was spent listening to it. Music. I love music.

Speaking of things I love... HERES ANOTHER VIDEO!*

AND its FRIDAY**! Which means WEEKEND!

OK. I'm going back to being a vegetable now. Tomorrow, if I am still ill, I will post a story, or a poem. maybe. or something.



*because I am feeling to lazy and blaaa to blog much today.
**fiday, got to get down on friday. nonononostopitbrainaaahhhh

April the Seventh

So basically. I am feeling very depressed and not bloggy today. But I don't want to miss a day. So as to make up for my I-am-not-in-mood-to-write-at-all-because-some-people-are-very-stupid-and-I-wish-they-would-go-die mood, I will instead give you this... because he can never fail to smile no matter how bad my day is.

also this... because I have to.

April the SIXTH. What was I -? TACOS!

So it's been 6 days. I made it that far without forgetting. I consider that a major feat. There was this one time, when I tried to be vegetarian, but I forgot and after about three days in I found myself eating a Taco Bell taco before I realized taco=meat, vegetarian =no meat. Fail. So point being, I like tacos. or wait, no my point is I'm forgetful. or something. What was I talking about again? Man, I want tacos now. I like tacos. mmm tacos.

So, I'm leaving for Hawaii in a week. A WEEK! For my senior class trip. I've never been to Hawaii. this should be fun. I'm excited. VERY EXCITED.

I don't know If I've said it here, But this year I've been doing a dailybooth * about my sneakers, because I love them so much, and at the end of the project I'm going to take all the pictures and put the in a video to show how my sneakers changed. Because I am a nerd.

Speaking of which, you remember yeaterday when I dressed up as Misty? Here I am with 'Ash'.




Last song played: 'Rest in Peace'
nail color: blue
Quote of the day: hmm, lets break out some John Green Shall We? "'The last time I was this scared,' Radar says, 'I actually had to face a Dark Lord in order to make the world safe for wizards.'" Paper Towns,*** By John Green

*well, ALMOST a daily-booth, I forget** sometimes.

** I told you I was forgetful, you din't believe me did you? man, now I'm thinking about the tacos again.

*** Probably my favourite book ever. I've read it so many times. as a matter of fact, I've read it so many times, that when I just went and got it to look up a quote, I noticed the spine is breaking. Uh-oh.

April the fifth, Hi I'm MISTY

No seriously, today, I am. It was cartoon day at school for spirit week. So OF COURSE i dressed up. Pokeball and everything. I'd also just like to say that I had everything I needed for that in my bedroom. yep. This girl = nerd. and proud of it.
AND out of complete coincidence, my friend Starr had dressed up as Ash. Together we actually made a pretty good likeness of the characters. It was awesome. When we saw each other we were like "WHAA- AWESOME!" and then proceeded to sing the Pokemon theme song all day very loudly. BEST DAY EVER. We'll maybe, if I didn't have so much homework to make up from being sick. Yuck. other than that BEST DAY EVER!

Oh, and did I mention, the guys in my anatomy and physiology class 'graced' us with a rendition of 'Friday'. hmm. Isn't my class just wonderful? I don't know what I'll do with out them next year.

I MUST GO READ FRANKENSTEIN BECAUSE I AM WAY BEHIND!

April the fourth

I really need to get better at coming up with titles. Anyway, My 3rd video from my thoughts from history is up. Its about New York. Which was my favourite day of the trip. I'll even put it on here!

Also have you seen todays teefury shirt? I WANT. No, NEED.

hehe.

UPDATE. My parents didn't let me go to school today, they wanted to make sure I was really better and put me on surveillance today. BUT I AM GOING TOMORROW. and its spirit week this week, and tomorrow is cartoon day, so I'm totally going as Misty from Pokemon. Boo to the Ya*.

You know what kinda annoys me? When my favourite character get killed off. Especially if now even though the show is still good, because the writers are incredible, all the characters are annoying and stupid. and I don't like them. GAARRGH. Why did Doyle die??



last song played: "walk through the fire"

*did I really just say that? Ive been away from people to long.

April the third. because I suck at coming up with titles

So, I lied. When I said I'd have something more interesting to blog about today. I didn't lie when I said it, I was so hoping I would have something to blog about. but um. HI there. I didn't do much of anything today either. Being sick kinda drain the motivation to do anything outta ya. But tomorrow, Ive decided I'm going to school, weather I'm still sick or not. I can't stay in this bed any longer! Also I kinda miss my irl friends, even though being my my computer for whole days at a time has helped me make some new ones. I like making new friends. I think the internet is brilliant. Like, today, I started this conversation in the comment section of one of Jake Jarvis (pineappleboyproductions) videos, about the song Mr. Blue Sky by ELO* and made an awesome new youtube friend. ISN'T THE INTERNET BEAUTIFUL?

So, in my repeat listening to songs from 'Once More with Feeling'I have decided that James Marsters (Spike from Buffy, John Hart from Torchwood, lead singer of Ghost of the robot, solo artist, ect) would make a good Roger from RENT! I love Adam Pascal, he he is that character in my eyes, but I think Spike gives off a similar vibe and would do a great job. I mean, 'Rest in Peace' even sounds like some of the music from RENT! I could seriously write about this quite a long time. BRAIN IN GAHH MODE. PLEASE HIT RESET BUTTON.

BUT I won't, because you don't need to read a whole bunch about Spike and Roger and, oh man, have I mentioned that I like musicals lately, because I like, Love them. Seriously, I wish some dancing demon would come and turn my life into a musical.**
I WANT TO SING AND DANCE SPONTANEOUSLY. This is one of the times I wish really life was more like the movies and TV.

last song played: Rest in Peace





*a great song. I love it, it makes me happy.
** The musical episode of Buffy "once more with feeling" was caused by a dancing demon.

April the second

So Its April second, and I feel very lame, because I have nothing new to talk about since yesterday, because, guess what? Im still sick, and spending my days in bed. I need to get better. BUT I have realized that I really need to go buy a new iTunes card, because I finally reached the musical episode of Buffy that I've been Hearing about. OHMYGOSHITSAMAZING. I have theory, just a theory, that this could be my favourite epi-sode.* AS matter of fact, I really think I need to go watch it again RIGHT NOW! Except I'm blogging. So I won't. FEEL LOVED.

My Second 'Thoughts from History' Video is going up in my youtubes. And If you missed it here is day 1.
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Oh hello there, I'm back, I got distracted my other windows. oops. I really want to go sing, but I can barely talk. URRRGH. I want to get batter now!
Ok, Im going to go rewatch Once more with feeling, I promise I will get better at blogging as this month progresses.

"I've got a theory it could be bunnies!.... bunnies aren't just cute like everyone supposes, they've got those hoppy legs and twitchy little noses, and whats with all the carrots? what do they need such good eyesight for anyways?" - Anya, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

*that line, totally sung in my head. to the music of "I have theory" in case you were wondering. which you probably weren't.

APRIL THE FIRST

IITTSS APRIL! And you know that that means. BEDA!! are you ready for the crazy amount of me blogging every day for an entire month?! Because I sure know I am. or, I think I am. WHOOO. My words seem very energetic today. I think its because my words are very energetic today. YOU KNOW WHY? YOU KNOW WHY? Because I've been sick and laying in bed all week sleeping. I went to the doctor today, and he gave me antibiotics, so hopefully I will get better now. I WANTZ TO GET BETTER NOWZ!! I've been hold up in my bed to long. So instead I'm being energetic through WORDS! On the INTERNETS!!

I edited the first video from my east coast trip finally. Its rendering. WHOOO.*

One (good?) thing about being sick for a week is Buffy Marathon. thats right, I'm now on season 6 of Buffy. Spike = brilliant and hilarious.

Now that its April, I have so much important stressy stuff done. Its time to relax, be creative, keep/get my grades up, and make it to graduation. ITS ALMOST HERE!

I was going to do VEDA as well, but that kinda failed last year, so I'm just gonna stick with this.

OK. I'm going to watch more Buffy now. ICANSTOPWHENEVERIWANTITSNOTINCONTOLOFME. I just don't want to stop right now.


quote: "I went on the internet once, people spell things wrong, it made me nauseous." Tera, from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
*it should be up on my youtubes tonight!

For Hall :) part 1

So this post id for Caren Hall. I think she is amazing. Even if your not her, you still might enjoy this post. Sillyness will ensue. I promise.

Hi Hall. Since I'm leaving for two weeks I figured I should finally make that post for you will lots of great stuff.

1. First off, here are The vlogbrothers Hank and John Green, Founders/Mayors of Nerdfighteria. Superdupper made of awesome nerds who are awesome. WATCH All THEIR VIDEOS! www.youtube.com/vlogbrothers

2. ALL CAPS! Super Awesome nerdy band made up of Kristina Horner (www.youtube.com/italktosnakes) and Luke Conard (www.youtube.come/lukeconard) Their songs are awesome and hilarious.

3. Liam Dryden My Favourite youtuber, and the first vlogger I ever found. (wonder why...) (yes, he looks like David Tennant, only younger) www.youtube.com/littleradge

4 Charlie McDonnell www.youtube.com/charlieissocoollike hilariously funny youtuber, writes funny songs.

5. HayleygHoover shes is hilarious, www.youtube.com/hayleyghoover she http://hayleyghoover.blogspot.com/ to, its fantastic,

6.Kristina Horner. her youtubes above, but her blogs cool too.

7. Chameleon Circuit. A trock band,they write songs about Doctor who. composed of Alex Day, Charlie McDonnell, Liam Dryden, and GingerChris/Eddplant. (chris first album, Edd second)

8. Maureen Johnson. young adult author and Twitter Queen. only way to explain her.

9. this video.

10. the last one for this round, but CERTAINLY not the least. Team Star Kid/ Darren Criss. Creators of A Very Potter Musical and A Very Potter Sequel. Honestly, be prepared to laugh non stop until it over. seriously. great music to.

I'll leave you with these for now, because theres lots there, so you should be good for a while :)

Free! ish

So this week is finally over, after a very stress full few days, especially the last 7 hours,(that I spent writing an essay that was due today. I'm finally free to relax and pack for history tour. Which is in two days. Well freeish. Now I get to work on all my personal projects I wanted done before I left. I can't believe My trip is finally almost here. I'm so excited I can hardly wait, except I can wait because I have Robot Unicorn Attack to play and Space unicorns to sing about. LIFE IS GOOD. And Blogs to write, because writing blogs is fun, and important. A few days ago I was reading though my old blog posts, and it was like going back in time, remind me of what it was like to write them. Which, in turn has made me realize I need to blog more. Which I will. So LOOK OUT. When I get back in two weeks Imma be writin up a storm! In the mean time look at this! "Keep Calm and Don't Blink" Its a clever little Doctor Who reference in a parody poster of this one, "Keep Calm and Carry on" A poster put out by the British Government World War 2, to raise moral. It wasn't really used though until someone rediscovered in 2000 and has since been making posters. cool huh?

Alright I'm hungry. IMMA GO EAT SOME FOOODZZZZ.

More thoughts.

So I have a question, and blogging about it gives me an excuse to procrastinate on my English essay. When it comes to school, which is better, the grades or actually learning? I'll be honest, my grades of late are not where I would like them to be. But heres the thing, Up until my junior year, I always got straight A's, and mostly without trying, but even though I got great grades, I didn't really learn much. Then when I hit about halfway though junior year, they slowly started to sink, and I believe its mainly because I caught a bad case of senioritis my junior year of high school. So not convenient. And I didn't really even care. And this year, I've started to notice something, even though most of my grades have dropped to B's, I'm actually learning things. Like now that the information is somewhat useful, and I'm actually learning it, I can't seam to show that I'm learning it. Like for example, I took a precal test earlier this week, and when we got it back, I got a 75% which I'm sure is one of the lowest grades I've ever gotten, especially in math. I knew how to do them, but I made tiny little stupid easy math errors, so even though I did the hard Pre-cal stuff right, I still got them wrong, and that seams to be happening a lot this year in Math. It doesn't make since, I mean, Math is MY subject, I've always been extreamly good at it. I was correcting my math teachers in elementary school, and a few times explaining the problem they couldn't to the class. Seriously. People were always asking me is I was going to be an engineer, or telling me I should go into math. But to be honest, I was good at it, but it bored me. I slept though both freshman and sophomore years math classes, and still came out with high A's. So why am I suddenly making these stupid mistakes. Why can't I get myself to actually study and do homework now that it seams like I need to. Would it be better for me to revert back to the person I used to be? Where I didn't learn anything, but was amazing at getting good test scores and grades with out trying? Or should I continue to think for myself, and in the process actually learn? Even if it means I can't pull of the grades I need?

Delivering rainbows, all around the world!

So today I did a quick little video response to PhilipDeFranco about change. His vloggity today was about the changes and he asked for video responses, so I did one. Whoo.

So a few days ago I stumbled upon this, I knew about Throwboys before, and had heard people talk about them. I'd seen some of their pillows in videos, mainly the subscribe one , and a few of the "chat" ones. But when I came across them this time, I found the throwbabies. LESSTHANTHREE. Also I wish I had money I could spend on random things, because I would so buy a ton of these pillows, Aren't they just awesome?

Sometimes I find things that I just need to share, because I feel it would positively effect peoples days. like this.. God I love the internet. and Parry Gripp. Parry Gripp is just nothing but amazingawesomeness.

YESSSSSSS FRIENDSSSS!

SOOO I am super excited right now! Why? because of your trip in 5.5 days to new York? you may ask. Well theres that to, but the main reason is, So I've been hanging out in yourpants, having some great discussions and making new friends. I freekin love yourpants. Like really. Yourpants is the best place ever. Hehe, ok enough with the jokes. The main reason that makes today SO FREEKIN AWESOME is that when I logged on today, I had a message from a friend of mine, concerning.... ready for this? A Collab-Channel. YESSS! So basically, in the coming months, a girl from Washington, a girl from Sweden, a girl from Portugal, a guy from London, and I are going to start a collab-channel, where still working on the name and schedule, but I'm pretty darn excited. I love meeting new people. HMYFEEKINYESSSSSS!

Sorry, my gushing is out. almost. AHHHHHHHHH! ok, now its out.

Haha, so many words on this page aren't words according to blogspot and Google chromes spell check. WELL GUESS WHAT INTERNET?! THEY ARE NOW! whatcha gonna do about it? eh?

Oh no, I feel more gushing coming. kjshdflkjrsaasbjsdciuadslcl. I'm just, sooo happy,I want to go tell all my irl friends, but they just wouldn't understand. But you understand right internet?

ok, I need to get back to my homework before I puke up more word gush. BYE


last song played- same as yesterday, to busy to listen today. *sad face*

Thoughts

When you are growing up, everyone tells you you can be whatever you want. Thats a lie. I was always very focused on what I wanted to do when I "Grew Up" when I was little. In kindergarten I made a plan, and from then on I always had a detailed plan. That is until about two years ago. That was when I decided everything I thought I had wanted, I didn't want. And on top of that, I didn't know what I wanted. This now being the time in my life when I should be making important decision about it, and I was lost. I still don't know for sure, but I know what I would really like to do. I want to tell stories, I'm going to major in film when I head to college in the fall, I want to tell tales, have adventures, and make an impact on people lives, the way so many people have had in mine. When I am writing, or looking over things I have written, I often feel like I wont be good enough, my way with words and imagination wont be enough, because even though I have read SO much, and done so many things though movies and books, that were so real to me, I have rarely "lived." Very seldom have I done something simply because I wanted to, or simply live in the moment. So much of what I do is always pushing for the future. And I'm sick of it. I have been for a while. I wake up, I go to school, I came home, I do homework, I go to bed, with very few changes. Some times I wonder why I bother. I wish I could just stop, I feel like I am waiting for my self out in the world, just out there waiting for me to find myself, but I can't leave yet, I have to stay. And it hurts, he hurts so bad that on some days it makes me sick. I may not fully know who I am, but I now I am a traveler. I have sea legs, and strong ones. I feel like I need to keep moving , keep moving, keep moving, but I've been harnessed, trapped, and I can't move. Frank Turner is an amazing musician, and I hear myself in almost all of his songs, but most especially, "the road" a part of it goes "ever since a small child I've been scared I've been afraid, of being trapped by circumstance by staying in one place, so I always keep a small bag full of clothes carefully stored, somewhere secret some where safe and somewhere close to the door. To the east, to the east, the road beneath my feet, to the west to the wast, I haven't got there yet, and to the north to the north, theres no time for you to waste, to the south to the south, my time is running out." I can pack a bag with everything I need for at least a week in under 10 minuets. It seams that the meaning of life is to go to school, get good grades, so you can get into a good college, so you can get a good job, so you can make money, so you can send you kids to college. Does the cycle never end? and I feel like I'm the only one who doesn't see the point. When they tell you you can be anything you want when you grow up, It is a lie. Because as much as I want to, I could never be like Frank Turner or Greg Holden. There is no way for me to be an English-raised punk-rocky folk singer. I was raised in California, and I'm a girl. I'm to young to drink, and if I where to just leave and hit the road I'd be looked down upon.



We now return to our regular scheduled programming...
I like days like today. Today was very productive, I cleaned my room, edited/uploaded a video, and started a writing new song, and played my guitar for a few hours. Now I'm writing. I FEEL LIKE A CREATIVE STORM. The weather today was AMAZING! I had a really good day yesterday to! I wonder if I'm lucky enough to make it a three day streak....

In the 6 days now remaining before I leave for the east, I am wanting to blog everyday, as a kinda warm up for BEDA. So if I forget, or if I get lazy, cause some trouble.


last song played on i-pod = I don't remember, but it was by Greg Holden.
Quote of the day - "I don't know who she is anymore, or who she was, but I need to find her" - Paper Towns by John Green.*

*ok no lie, I just reached over and pulled a book off my shelf, open'd it up and that was the first sentence I read. spooky.

Tiger Blood

Oh look at this two post in one week? Am I still sick or something? No, just wanted to come have a chat. Although to be honest, now that I am here I for got what I was going to say...

ANYWAYS, I leave to the east in 8 days. EXCITEMENT.

Greg Holden is still clogging* up my sound waves, Its now March**, I can't seam to focus on anything, and OOOH PRETTY LIGHTS! Um sorry....

Sooo, How about Charlie Sheen eh? Is that guys crazy as batshit or what? Though what amazed me most*** is that he gets the same amount, if not more news coverage then whats going on in Libya and all the amounts of crazy that Gaddafi is. I mean, yeah their both completely-bonkers crazy guys, but Gaddafi is in charge of a COUNTRY! and people are dieing. Maybe I'm wrong, but it seams like they should get more attention than an insane druggy**** with Tiger blood.*****

I'm really thankful I have the internet to keep me up to date and inform me.

Anywho, I think I'm gonna squeeze an episode of Buffy before bed, Night y'all.
Until next time.


P.S. Click on the links hidden in here, there aren't many, but it's worth your time.

Last Song played- "The Art of Falling"- Greg Holden
Quote of the day - I think I've put enough quotes in this post... if not, FOLLOW THE LINKS. just saying. If you want to , you know.


*clogging makes it sound bad, the music that comes from Greg could never be something bad, I just can't think of a better word.
** WHAT?! It's March already, but but, it just became 2011?!
***And also makes me a little angry/annoyed.
****OK! He pasted the drug test, "no I'm not on drugs! I'm on a drug, it's called Charlie Sheen" -Charlie Sheen.
*****Even if he thinks he's #WINNING #Twitterjokes #I'mNOTonCharlieSheen

Incoherency

It seams the only time I blog is when I'm home sick. I guess that is the only time I have to sit around an organize my thoughts. Most today, (at least the conscience part) was spent laying in my bed starring out the window watching the sky go from blue to grey to the dark-grey-blue colour it is now. While listening to Greg Holden's Not my living room series. and thinking. because unfortunately I am not completely-out-of-my-mind sick.


And that is as far as I got. I wrote that yesterday, and that much was written with one hand from a distance, and I'm fairly certain it only came about because I was to ill to get up to get paper(and I needed to write something, my brain was going crazy), or to even move. Its a good thing laptops were invented.

Anyways, I am feeling much better now, which is a major relief, and I'm ready to face the day tomorrow. hopefully. I CAN DO THIS!

On an exciting note, I have 88 days left until I graduate from high school! Yay/Yikes!

And I have less than 2 weeks until I hit the east coast. WHOOOO!



last song played- 'Bar on A' _Greg Holden
quote of the day _ "Don't head butt the sun, Idiot!" - Craig Benzine (wheezywaiter)

Zombies vs Unicorns

Hey there. Its been a while. Hows the wife and kids?

So I've been meaning to blog lately, but every time I finally open up the page my mind goes blank. But here I am anyway. I've been nice and busy with the second semester of my senior year, and my basketball team going undefeated. W00T! Doing things like this. But I think the man reason I haven't been around is because I have really been enjoying living my life, or trying to as much as I can, because I've realized in a few short months my life is going to change a lot. The world as I know it is going to change, so I'm enjoying what I have while I have it.

But amid all the good and happy things going on in my life, I have some sad news to bare. Borders has declared bankruptcy and is closing lots of stores. Mainly, they are closing the one nearest me, in which I spend a lot of time and money in. On the bright-side, they have started the going out of business sales, which means I went and bought some books for 40% of today. I only bought 2, but I will be returning in about a week..... and yet I wonder why I have no money.



last song played on ipod- "Shes got something" Greg Holden

quote of the day- "On Monday I got a card in the mail, it said 'happy Valentines day, from you know who' why on earth is Lord Voldemort sending me cards?"